So, we’re “back” together.  I didn’t really want to leave him, I like him.  I do.  However, after everything is said and metaphorically weighed, there is no logic in why we should be together.  And yet, the thought of him not being in my life brings tears to my eyes.  It was extremely hard talking to him last night, especially when he asked me to swear that I don’t love him.  I couldn’t. 

Why can’t I tell him that I don’t love him? After all, I do not think I do.  Then again, he did bring up the fact that matters of the mind and heart are of two separate entities.

            But I’m still not happy.  I mean sure, I woke up happy today but I don’t think I am.  We didn’t resolve anything last night.  All I now know is that he REALLY is a persuasive talker.  Damn him.

My main worry now, is that things will be tainted because of this.  Secondary to that, I am also afraid that I will be perpetually looked upon as the weak-hearted one who couldn’t break away even when I wanted to (sorta).

 
If only life is as easy as ordering a cup of coffee.

Just to be spiteful, I should take a girl home and make out with her in front of my parents (or at least my dad).  Honestly, is it my fault that my best friend here happens to be a guy?  Gawd, it is as if they fear that if I spend a day at his or anyone else's house, I would come home transmogrified into an underachieving whore or something . . .

Then again, I understand some of what is going on in their heads: too much worry and not enough trust.  Ugh, damn asian parents.